As you know, our daughter started school last year, so my wife has just started her second term as proud yummy mummy – well, we have an SUV and my wife is gorgeous! We have been “lucky” that my wife has been able to be the cool school runner, despite it would be nice with some extra cash, and it has worked out really well (for me). My input as a not-so-yummy-dad has been limited to three school runs, whereof two were school year starts – so they don’t really count. And, my track record hasn’t been the greatest either, as I was caught 5 minutes late in the hallway by the principal, last time I did the school run.
It is very difficult to keep up with all the activities in school and I’ve only made it to the annual Christmas show, and for some reason, my wife wants us to be a lot more involved in the school – why? I’m not too sure.
I’d better explain that our daughter is attending one of the Educate Together Schools; not attached to a religion and no uniforms. Educate Together is strongly based on parents’ involvement in EVERYTHING from charity events, school parties, daily management and sports days. Well, the latter is a big no-no for me anyway, mainly due to my poor physique and oddly shaped body. You might remember from my School Run blog that I almost collapsed after a mere 60 minutes walk to/from school.
So, how do you get involved in the school you might ask? Well, you volunteer. Which in my humble opinion is ludicrous. If there’s something I’ve learned over the years, then it is NOT to volunteer for anything as this just means a lot more work and other parents get off the hook. You know it too. It is too easy to blame the participating parents that an event was a failure or it should have been done in a different way. But you should never complain or come with suggestions. Therefore, I decided not to volunteer – but, my wife had other plans.
The other day, when I came home from work, she proudly announced that the school is looking for parents to represent each class, and who better to represent our daughter’s class than us!! It was a near-death experience similar to when you stand too close to the curb and get knocked over by the wind-pressure from the passing 18-foot truck or you just lost (again) in Wii boxing to your 4 year old son.
I love my wife, but this was not a good idea, so I firmly accepted the challenge of representing our daughter’s class. Like so many men, I have my own ideas and opinions, but I tend to falter under the pressure from my wife’s all-seeing eye and gaze – don’t we all. I know that if I had objected, I would have to sleep in the attic again, in my daughter’s old bed, only covered with a shitty dog blanket.
We men know when to agree and disagree with our wives. We stand tall for the family and we will take every challenge with a straight back. The thing is, we know how to bargain too. In this case, I get to see Champions League football twice this season, just because I accepted her demands. That’s double the amount of games I saw last year – I’m on a winning path. Maybe next year I get to turn up the volume too…
I’m under the thumb like the rest of you chicken men, and I’m not scared to admit it (this last line was written while my wife was watching me!).
Anyway, I’m ready for the PTA. How hard can it be? My iPod is fully loaded with music and I’ve bought smaller headphones. I just hope the principal doesn’t catch me out again. At least I’m no longer smoking in the courtyard with the 12 year old boys.
…I just hope my wife has selected me for chairperson!!!
The worst thing about attending these meetings, is that you actually sit in a class room and not in the teacher’s area. This means that you sit on children’s chairs that are extremely small and low. They are perfect for my wife, but they cause my legs to cramp every 5 minutes or “fall asleep” because I’m pinching a blood vein that results in blood not circulating. I nearly fell over at the last PTA meeting. When I stood up, I realised that my leg was fully asleep. I quickly grabbed the nearest person not to fall, almost knocking over the teacher representative too. Man, these teachers get smaller and younger – this one looked like she was just out of school herself.
So, school just started, so we only have another 11 PTA meetings to go. Wish me luck.