Only Way is Dapper Ways

gingergrizzlyIt is not easy to look this great. It takes years to find the right diet, plastic surgeon, fitness program, but more importantly, the right hair dresser.  And I have been doing the latter wrong all these years of my adulthood.

My hair has been messed up with no clear direction and simply trying to get some styling done has proven to be a utter challenge.

Like so many trend setters before me, men have gone to high street hair salons, operated by wonderful women who had or has little understanding for a man’s desire to look awesome.  I need to look like a lumberjack, fresh from the mountains, and still rock an office doe that will make my male colleagues stare in amazement wondering who this awesome dude is.

The answer has been simple and right in front of me, but I haven’t dared to sit my feet in a barbers since I was 9 years old.

Back then, in the late 70’s, I went to the local barber in my home town.  The “barbers” had no training whatsoever and probably learned how to cut hair on Barbie dolls, sheep or blind folded.  They knew one cut, and if you asked for another, they frowned and gave you the standard cut.

Because I was 9 and had been running around all day, I was rather tired.  As a result, I started to doze of in the barber’s chair.  For the record … BIG MISTAKE!

haircut misfortune
obviously not me – just taken from Internet

I most have tilted my head slightly as the older (70+ year old) barber was cutting, and my fringe ended up with an increase of 2 inches from left to right.  It looked as if I had a half open curtain across my forehead, resembling characters from “Dumb Dumber”.

As a 9 year old boy, that is not cool.  I knew I would get a severe beating from other boys at school, or at least be humiliated in front of my 3rd grade crush. Utter devastation loomed.

I begged my mother to correct the mistakes, either by cutting the fringe straight or buying me a cool woollen hat, despite it being mid summer and 80+F degrees.

Years later, the trauma was still haunting me, when Felicia (3rd grade crush) laughed at my fringe that had been corrected by my mum, and was not 3 inches above my eye brows and none-existing.

Being happily married, and only other dad’s to impress at local school, I decided it was time to find a suitable barber.  You see them all over and I’ve sent my son there a few times with ok results.

Screen Shot 2018-02-11 at 17.37.16I found this cool place, Dapper Ways, and booked a time.  I had no idea what the different options were (gentleman’s cut, etc.) but that was part of the experience.  Dapper Ways has a cool interior and something seemed right.

Upon arriving, Nick greeted me.  He happens to be the owner and carries this amazing beard, and arms covered in tattoos.  I was greeted with a smile and took my place in the barber’s chair.  The next 40 mins was an experience I had not tried before.

This dude knows how to cut hair and beard.  He was using the buzzers, scissors and blade razor.  I had warm shaving foam on my face, hot towel and he even edged my sides to perfection.  Man, this was awesome.

I looked sharp.  I had a hair doe that made me feel like a million dollars, and Nick had been a true gentleman when doing his thing.  I can only say, you gotta try and visit Nick.

Screen Shot 2018-02-11 at 17.36.54This was absolutely the best hair dresser experience in decades, when I tried to impress a cute girl who was a hair dresser and learning Italian … another blog post entirely.

It was so good my wife smiled and winked at me, and pinched my left butt cheek.  My co-workers parted in front of me like Moses at the Red Sea, and the guys were asking what happened.  OK, slightly exaggerated, but it was bloody cool.

A few weeks later I took my son, and Nick did another splendid job.  Please note, my son has Down Syndrome, and sitting still is an Olympic challenge, but there was no moving around and just cool attitude towards getting his hair done.

3 thumbs up - Go visit Nick and Dapper Ways!

Hazmat suits and viruses

virusIt is like a headline from one of George A Romero’s zombie apocalypse movies, where the slightest infection will cause the end of mankind.  A virus will spread across the Globe eradicating life as we know it.

Or at least that is how the #fakenews and CDC make it sound, as we are half way through the flu season.  Actually, it is a scary thought that we have a season for illnesses.  Normally a season is associated with something positive, but flu season is the devil’s work!

vi·rus
ˈvīrəs/
noun
noun: virus; plural noun: viruses; noun: computer virus; plural noun: computer viruses
  1. 1.
    an infective agent that typically consists of a nucleic acid molecule in a protein coat, is too small to be seen by light microscopy, and is able to multiply only within the living cells of a host.
    “a virus infection”
    • an infection or disease caused by a virus.
      synonyms: disease, bug, infection;

      datedcontagion
      “the child caught a virus”
    • a harmful or corrupting influence.
      “the virus of cruelty that is latent in all human beings”
  2. 2.
    a piece of code that is capable of copying itself and typically has a detrimental effect, such as corrupting the system or destroying data.
    synonyms: worm, Trojan Horse

    “a computer virus”

For years we have not received the flu vaccine.  It is not linked with religious or political beliefs, but merely a parent not believing a potion will help us fend off the evil bacteria.  I think we are simply making the viruses stronger, and this year seems to prove my doomsday theory.

The flu strain is stronger this season and people with or without the flu shot are getting hit.  And getting hit badly.  In too many cases it has resulted in death, which I feel very sorry about.  We should say goodbye to family members as they get ill with a known virus.

But, this is a man made virus and we have to invent stronger vaccines to combat it.  This will have a negative impact on our bodies and it is a losing battle.  Just like in War of the Worlds, we will eventually succumb to a small bacteria, leaving the planet to microbes.

We have been extra vigilant these weeks to protect the kids.  Cleaning everywhere, covering while sneezing, washing hands, and avoiding people who might be a little ill.  Just to make sure our kids did not contract a virus.

outbreakA few days ago our son developed a fever.  Nerves kicked in and we monitored closely.  My wife brought him to the doctor, and she confirmed that he had contracted the dreaded flu. Good news (if that is possible) is it was not the evil stronger strain of the virus, so he would not be as affected.  Nevertheless, we went into post-apocalyptic mode.

We pulled the hazmat suits out of storage, dressed the entire family except him, and started the quarantine exercises with these simple steps;

  • No-one touches him
  • He eats alone and uses disposable cutlery
  • No-one enters his domain
  • No-one kisses or have physical contact like hugging
  • Room has to be sterilised
  • No school or social activities
  • Total isolation from the rest of the World

…if we get to more severe phase, then food is shoved under his door.

3 days went by and he was showing signs of improvement.  Fever had dropped after 48 hours, he was drinking plenty of fluids and not side effects such as vomiting encountered.

Day 4 showed excellent progress and he will absolutely go back into civilisation Monday.

I really hate when my kids are sick.  There’s very little I can do for them, except kid painkillers and antibiotics.  And of course rest and fluids.  It is a waiting game.

The real challenge is the aftermath.  Will anyone else in the family contract the flu?

Is this the end?

For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.  Matthew 24:7

Lost in the Wild

IMG_4851We are not the Robinson family, although we do like to explore. We try to experience something new on our new country, when we leave the house, ever since we moved here.  It has been an absolutely fantastic adventure, despite some minor less fantastic moments – but let’s not dwelve on the darker times.

In recent months, we have talked a lot about getting more familiar with the great outdoors.  We live in the mountains, next to a huge state park, and pride ourselves of having joined the great scouts organisations for both girls and boys.  As such, we must learn and explore!

Last week we finally build up the courage to face nature head on, and go into the great wilderness – well armed with bug sprays, water, pocket knife and of course iPhone.

We found what we thought would be a good beginner and family trail, in the majestic Bear Mountains which is over 5000 acres of trees, lakes, rivers, wild life that will kill you and of course animals.

For this virgin trek, we even brought our loco brown 2 year old Labrador.  She hates other dogs, gets extremely hyper when she meets people and pulls like a bull.  It would be good for her to burn some energy and at the same time train walking on a leash like a normal dog.

The family SUV took us to the starting point and we prepared ourselves for a “short” trek around in the woods.  My dear wife sprayed all of us with insect repellent.  With the amount she used, mosquitos quickly became an endangered species in a 5 mile radius.

Hi Ho Hi Ho – off we go … we are family … we will survive” were tunes that we spontaneously started singing while climbing our first little ledge.  I personally prefer the soundtrack from “Sound of Music” but perhaps not relevant at that very moment.

The girls climbed large rocks, ran into the wilderness, looked at all insects and screamed by the sight of most insects.  It was a true family bonding moment.  Our son was less impressed as her prefers so watch movies about outdoors, and not being inside it.

Marking a tree in case we don't make it back!
Marking a tree in case we don’t make it back!

I felt awesome.  Putting my scouting experience to use and explained random things to the girls, hoping they would pay somewhat attention.  I showed them the markers on the trees, showing the trail we were on (little did I know that these would become essential for our survival 2 hours later) and was skipping along the path in my trekking sandals.

In hindside, none of us had selected the best footwear for this outing, but we still managed and took our time as we scaled various cliffs and streams.  We had fun and that was important.

As we got deeper and deeper into the wilderness, we encountered less and less people.  They obviously knew something we didn’t or had better trial maps.

2 hours in we finally met another family.  They asked us for direction and we joked that we were heading back to the car and pointed towards a wider trial.  It was only when their lead scout shared his map that I realised that we were slightly of course.  In fact, had we stayed on the trail, we would’ve ended up 10 miles from our starting point and car.

somewhere here
somewhere here

I tried not to panic in the presence of our kids, who all looked at me for guidance.  A nervous giggle emerged from my throat and I proudly pointed towards the path we just came from and exclaimed with a trembling voice “we are going back on the trial we just came from“.  Inside my head I as screaming “we are lost and will die!

Thankfully the kids did not argue and simply turned around.  They just turned, faced the path and started walking while humming.

The good thing was, we knew the path challenges already, and we could easily find our way back to the car as we followed the trial markers. I told you they were important!

Soon we could hear cars again and suddenly I spotted our car in the parking lot, and we had one bar coverage on cell network. It was a joyous and emotional moment being back in civilisation.

Part of me doubted my tracking skills, but my fatherly GPS senses kicked in and navigated us back to safety.  My wife actually kissed the car and hugged all of us with tears rolling down her face.

What did we learn from this family bonding adventure?

  • My youngest daughter knows how to pee in the wild
  • We need to wear better shoes
  • Would be ideal to have a trial map and compass
  • Bring more water and perhaps snacks
  • Prepare to be lost better!
  • Bring pen and paper to write letters home
  • The loco Labrador can actually work nicely (probably exhausted too)

All in all, it was a great afternoon spent with the family and we are absolutely returning to the wild in the near future.

School Lunches & Grey Hairs

Having three kids keeps you busy.  Very busy.  There’s always laundry, homework, showers, cleaning up toys and rooms.  And, then you of course have the other daily / weekly routines such as sports, friends and shopping.

It never was an easy adventure to be a parent, but it is amazing how much we can accomplish while sleep deprived. Whoever said having kids wouldn’t change you was completely disillusioned and I doubt he ever participated in the awesome responsibilities.

That brings me to my next topic – school lunches.

I bloody hate seeing all the these ridiculously perfect families on social media, who have oodles of time, and patience, to create the perfect lunch boxes.  Seriously, who have time to prepare mini sushi look-alike lunches, design cuddly sandwiches shaped like cute lions, serve small fried dish consistent of slightly fried vegetables, neatly sliced, mixed with fresh caught salmon.  Are you bloody serious!

Instagram, Facebook and other social networks are devil’s spawn.  How on earth can people find time to have these awesome creations?  I wish I could make my kids’ school lunches that fantastic, but I rarely find time to make my own.

My wife and I work 8.30 – 17.30 jobs.  We have to do the daily chores, play with our kids, do homework, and prepare the various meals.  There’s little or no energy left to spend designing next day’s lunch menu.  Kids will get the usual suspects; left-over food, peanut-butter jam, ham-cheese, chicken-cheese tortilla or other combinations.

We refuse to give them money for school lunches, as those are not healthy at all.  At least our lunches have fresh vegetables, meats, cheeses, and their snacks normally consist carrots, tomatoes, or pretzels.

That said, in recent weeks we have really made an effort making the school lunches more appealing.  It is important for the kids to open their lunch boxes, without fears of being laughed at or accused of eating items that looks like they are from another planet.

My latest creation was Lego shaped egg muffins.  Not the boring Eggos like in “Stranger Things‘, but little delicous egg muffins made with spinach, ham, cheese and eggs.

lunchI found our Lego baking shape and made a few awesome Lego shaped muffins.  And I must admit, and kids were not bribed, but they loved them.  It was probably the shapes, but I also hope they tasted nice.

These suckers were created out of normal parenting hours, after 10 pm, which is normally the time we start drooling on the sofa.  Actually, that happens around 9.13pm.

It’s tough being a parent, but I would not change it for anything in the World!

We parents do need to demand better school lunches on all schools.  It is not right that kids get pizza, fries, ice cream, sodas, chips etc.  This only encourages shitty food and increases the risk of childhood obesity.  Demand better food in schools!

Jamie, help us!  We need to start the food revolution … again.

Star Wars Spoilers

My wife had dropped a major bomb in our relationship before Christmas, stating that she never really liked Star Wars movies.  I was in utter shock and wasn’t too sure how our relationship could survive.  What other things was she hiding from me?

I had taken her to the premieres of SW 1 and SW2, at midnight, and seriously thought she enjoyed the story.  She had gone to the dark side!awakens

When Star Wars Force Awakens was released in the cinema, I was stuck at home looking at trailers and listning to my colleagues at work raving about the movie.  JJ Abrams had done a great job, apparently, and the effects were above expectations.  It’s just not the same watching a 2:43 min trailer compared to a 2h 19min movie in IMAX.  I felt as if I was missing out on a lot of important details.

When the movie was finally released on iTunes, I bought it. No hesitation.  Just a quick one-click decision.  And, I didn’t tell my wife.  It was like cheating on her.  Buying stuff only for me. Something she didn’t like.  I felt naughty and the feelings of the dark side were stirring inside me.  It felt good.

But, this excitement only lasted a few days.  Suddenly our kids fell ill and I did not have time to watch the movie.  It was my fatherly obligations to choose kids over Star Wars.  Not really a hard decision, but my soul was still torn.

One morning, I had to work from home, and the kids wanted to watch the new Star Wars while having projectile vomiting on the sofa.  Why not.  I’m a good dad.  I launched the movie, and slowly walked back to my office computer.  The intro music was filling the house and I peaked over my shoulders like a schoolboy trying to watch Exorcist when parents weren’t watching.

It was pure agony.  I could hear the effects.  i could hear the kids being amazed with the story and movie.  They cheered, cried and laughed.  Then the movie ended.  I had passed the challenge and would pass into the West.

Unfortunately my six year old kid ran into the kitchen.  Big eyes and shouted “DAD!!!  Han Solo died! And the bad guy survived”

I was like  O M G.  What do I do?  Slap her for spoiling the movie or just laugh it of.  Corporal punishment is no longer permitted so I just laughed.  It wasn’t real laughter, but painful and tearful at the same time.

I had waited so long,  Finally got my copy of the movie and then my six year old tells me an important part of the movie.  oh well, the joys of parenting.  I was pleased she had her Star Wars moment, which she will cherish just as much as I, when I first saw Chewie and Han.

My the force be with you my little Sith Daughter!