Star Wars Spoilers

My wife had dropped a major bomb in our relationship before Christmas, stating that she never really liked Star Wars movies.  I was in utter shock and wasn’t too sure how our relationship could survive.  What other things was she hiding from me?

I had taken her to the premieres of SW 1 and SW2, at midnight, and seriously thought she enjoyed the story.  She had gone to the dark side!awakens

When Star Wars Force Awakens was released in the cinema, I was stuck at home looking at trailers and listning to my colleagues at work raving about the movie.  JJ Abrams had done a great job, apparently, and the effects were above expectations.  It’s just not the same watching a 2:43 min trailer compared to a 2h 19min movie in IMAX.  I felt as if I was missing out on a lot of important details.

When the movie was finally released on iTunes, I bought it. No hesitation.  Just a quick one-click decision.  And, I didn’t tell my wife.  It was like cheating on her.  Buying stuff only for me. Something she didn’t like.  I felt naughty and the feelings of the dark side were stirring inside me.  It felt good.

But, this excitement only lasted a few days.  Suddenly our kids fell ill and I did not have time to watch the movie.  It was my fatherly obligations to choose kids over Star Wars.  Not really a hard decision, but my soul was still torn.

One morning, I had to work from home, and the kids wanted to watch the new Star Wars while having projectile vomiting on the sofa.  Why not.  I’m a good dad.  I launched the movie, and slowly walked back to my office computer.  The intro music was filling the house and I peaked over my shoulders like a schoolboy trying to watch Exorcist when parents weren’t watching.

It was pure agony.  I could hear the effects.  i could hear the kids being amazed with the story and movie.  They cheered, cried and laughed.  Then the movie ended.  I had passed the challenge and would pass into the West.

Unfortunately my six year old kid ran into the kitchen.  Big eyes and shouted “DAD!!!  Han Solo died! And the bad guy survived”

I was like  O M G.  What do I do?  Slap her for spoiling the movie or just laugh it of.  Corporal punishment is no longer permitted so I just laughed.  It wasn’t real laughter, but painful and tearful at the same time.

I had waited so long,  Finally got my copy of the movie and then my six year old tells me an important part of the movie.  oh well, the joys of parenting.  I was pleased she had her Star Wars moment, which she will cherish just as much as I, when I first saw Chewie and Han.

My the force be with you my little Sith Daughter!

Be My Valentine

My Dear Wife

We have been together since 1997, and it has been a fantastic adventure.  I’m just as madly in love today, as when we first met.  Perhaps even more.

You are the mother of our beautiful children, and an awesome friend.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Happy-Valentines-Day

Back to school(s)

It’s that time of the year again – school is back on the menu.

Time to wake up early again, prepare lunches and shop for all the school supplies.  Our kids are somewhat excited, although they prefer to go to the lake, stay up late, eat marshmallows, and do nothing that resembles school work for 8 weeks.

I want to kick off the new school year with a strong message – love your mum and respect what she is and has done for you.  This is really a message to all kids out there – a strong message from Mark Mero.

City Girl n’ Skulls

walkingdeadreadyHere we are, living in the wilderness of Bear Mountain, about one mile from civilisation and the stress that comes with it.  Surviving in these surroundings takes skill and perseverance.  We are committed and we will adapt to our new life.

Thankfully we have the necessary means to survive; over-sized SUV (4×4 of course), Apple gadgets, 8 garden machines, misc. KitchenAid appliances and plenty of popcorn.

Cone on wilderness!  We can take you!

Or so we thought.

My lovely South American flower called me at work, in a frantic state, bursting out she had found a skeleton. More specifically, a human skull.  She demanded that I returned to our Casa del Muerte to inspect the remains of this unfortunate soul.

Strangely, all while looking to buy the house, and throughout the many visits, we never actually met the wife.  So, the remains could be that of his missing wife!?

Instead of calling Grissom and Co., she decided to call the local Sheriff Coltrane to inspect the remains.  What if the killer was still at large and maybe this was a living dead scenario. She simply had to get this crime of the century solved.

Not too sure how I could help with cleaning up a crime scene in our little forest.  I would either get attacked by a bear or Bambi, pee my pants and then man-handled by a skunk.

Anyway, our amazing trooper quickly arrived to inspect the crime scene, only to discover that the actual skull was the remains of Bambi’s relative.  Nothing on the cranium, beside a few teeth, may have resembled a human.

The happy law enforcement officer smirked at my wife, took a picture for his scrap-book or mug shot catalogue, and then quietly drove off.  No sirens 🙂

It was a happy ending to a crime filled morning for my rebel wife.  She was shaken and stir-crazy after that experience.  She still demanded that I came home to save the damsel in distress, but I had to save the World at work … or so I think.

combat heelsA few days after this ordeal, the missus went for a stroll in the jungle again, in her combat high heels and new hunting dog (10 week old labrador), only to twist her ankle as she stepped into a groundhog tunnel, slipped, landed on the puppy who peed on itself out of fear.

I think it’s fair to state that her days of exploring are numbered.  The Disney forest we live in is not a place for a city girl.  She pretends to be the female version of Grylls, but it’s more like Miss Congeniality in the Jungle.  One day we can go trekking – trekking in the nearest super mall jungle.

Wish me luck as I’ll be the one who gets lost!

Rise of Coco

coco2I swore 2 years ago that, when our male Labrador passed over the rainbow bridge, we would not replace him and that we would not get any other dog when our St Bernard dies either.

It’s a lot of responsibility to have a dog(s), and you are bound to them all the time.  They depend on you.  This restricts you from doing stuff too spontaneously, as you have to plan ahead with a dog sitting and that’ll cost you extra.

Being the head of the family, I succumbed to my family’s constant pressure and we invested in a new dog.  It takes a big man to admit defeat and I’m not a big man 🙂  I’m under the thumb just like any other dad / husband in the World.

Here’s the insane bit, as if getting a new dog wasn’t crazy enough.  We drove 3 hours to see and pick the dog from the litter, then 3 hours back.  And, bring on asylum insane, we did the same trip two weeks later to pick up the puppy.

Drumroll …. and we love her 🙂

She was really well-behaved the first evening.  It took her a little time to sniff the house, considering she lived in a breeding box (4′ x 4′) before, and now she has 2700 sq. feet to cover.

We decided to place her in a dog kennel for the night, with blankets, and she was snoring away … at least until 2am.  At that point she woke up and realized she was in a strange place, with strange smells.

It was as if she screamed “Why am I in this prison?  I did not chew the shoe!  I need my mum!  I’m innocent of whatever crimes I’ve committed.  Why this cruelty?

I woke up to the intense winning and pushed my wife out of bed.  She had promised to look after the puppy, with our now 11-year-old daughter, and she stumbled down the stairs to be with the puppy.  I could get some more sleep 🙂

To my amazement, she’s actually well-behaved.  I have to say that as she’s our dog.  But, she eats well, sleeps better and is getting a lot of exercise from chasing the St Bernard.

The 9-year-old St Bernard is shell-shocked with the arrival of this little chocolate-colored labrador, who chases her tale and bites her paws.  She’s slightly apprehensive about letting the puppy cuddle up with her, and not too sure how to play with such a small thingy.

She has already bonded with the kids, especially my son, and is chewing their shirts and socks, much to the amusement of the kids.

It’ll be fine.  It’ll take some time for the family to adjust, but we love her already.

Just one minor problem – she has already attempted to steal my corner on the family sofa!