Goodnight Gollum

babygollumBedtime is usually the time of the day, where you either have a happy moment with bedtime stories and hugs, or you have a fight on your hands as your child does not want to sleep.  There are rarely any other outcomes for bedtime … or so I thought!

While reading bedtime story for my 5-year old daughter, I was getting a little impatient with the speed of her putting on her pyjamas.  She was moving at turtle speed minus 10mph, almost going back in time and putting on clothes again.

At times, when showing my frustration, I turn on my heavy metal scary voice.  I don’t like getting upset at bedtime, so try to make it a little different and fun.

With my best monster growling voice I utter a short phrase “get pyjamas on or I will tickle you until you pee your pants!” –  obviously just a silly parent tactic and I would never do that to my child doh!!!  I’m the one having to clean up afterwards.

I repeated the phrase a few times, when suddenly my 5-year old angel turned around.  Her eyes were focused directly at me.  She concentrated and said in her best Gollum voice “I will get ready.  I have brushed my teeth.  I will kill you!!”


I just poohed my pants and almost had a triple heart attack, while shaking uncontrollably. This little Gollum gave me a good scare, and now I’m afraid of the dark. It brought memories of the REDRUM scene in ‘The Shining‘.

I think my wife should put this little cutie to bed the next many evenings!

Merry Christmas – hope you’re not offended

123ae2681b367cb92eb1d77ec787fdafIt is obvious – we live in a World were freedom of speech has become a misused verb.  It has lost its value and has been replaced by an exaggerated use of political correctness, which is driven into us by the media and daily routines.

Heck, even this blog might be considered inappropriate and offend people.  It may even go viral, but somehow I doubt it.  It’s just a post written by a middle class white immigrant dude, who’s enjoying life and living the American Dream.

What do I mean?

People can no longer express opinions, be assertive or even be proud of their heritage without worrying about how people might react.  We are stepping on glass, and at times that prevents us from being creative and drive progress.

Personally, I could care less what color, religion and political views you have, as long as you treat people the same way you want to be treated.  It’s rather simple really.

In an ideal World, we respect each others believes and traditions.  Just because you have a Christmas tree in your front-garden, and greet people with ‘Merry Christmas’ does not mean that you are attempt to offend people.  Heck, you are just happy and want to pass on your happiness to others no matter background.

  • I say Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends and Happy Eid al-Fitr to Muslim friends.
  • I hug my African-American friends just as hard as I hug my Irish/Danish relatives
  • I drink Guinness just like my Irish friends (not as much 🙂 )
  • I love food from around the World, no matter who cooked it
  • I’m utterly amazed with cultures and sights when travelling

We have to be careful we don’t put up too many obstacles for people to enjoy each others company. Some people will always be offended, and they will never be happy.

It’s like dealing with Father Jack (Father Ted series) or Archie Bunker (All in the Family series).  You just can’t make them happy no matter what you do.  But, let’s be polite to each other, respect each others celebrations and traditions.

So, my words to you during the festive season “Merry Christmas y’all.  I love you all and hope you will have lots of love in the future”.

My Father, My Hero, My Captain, My Friend, My Mentor

Farfar5 years – At times it feels like an eternity. At times it feels like yesterday.

My beloved father passed away in April 2010, only a few weeks after my third child was born.  Thankfully he got to meet her during a quick Skype call, and I know he’s watching over her and the rest of the family from wherever he is.

I’m confident I’ve felt his presence many times during the last few years, as my little family have worked through our new life challenges and if I have been in a situation where his guidance would have been of great help.

In those moments, I have felt his calm hand on my shoulder; as if he was reaching down to say “it’ll be alright, and just do what your heart tells you”.

I miss him very much.  I know my sister and mother miss him too.  It is a great loss and we have been through too many things in recent years.  Some less positive, but even the negative moments have made us stronger as a family – even across the ocean from USA to little Denmark.

It is wonderful to think that my kids still remember farfar.  Not necessarily what he looked like, but his kindness and warm person he was.  When thinking of the few moments my children got to spend with him, and how the cherished these, it makes me a little teary.

As we originates from the vikings, it’s only appropriate to share an old viking prayer –

Lo, There do I see my Father

Lo, There do I see my Mother and

My Brothers and my Sisters

Lo, There do I see the line of my people back to the beginning

Lo, They do call to me

They bid me take my place among them in the halls of Valhalla

Where thine enemies have been vanquished

Where the brave shall live Forever

Nor shall we mourn but rejoice for those that have died the glorious death.

The Rock

Once upon a time, while enjoying my childhood summer, I got trapped on a rock for what felt hours or even days.  It was actually rather traumatic experience, and I’ve been afraid of rocks ever since 🙂

Setting the scene

cottageMany years ago, during the amazing 70s, my parents bought a small summer house cottage on a small idyllic island called Strynø. It was like taken from one of HC Andersen’s fairy tales. Small cottages with thatched roofs, cobblestone roads, wonderful fields and small village.  The village centre had a super market, school, municipal building, and supermarket-icecream parlour-post office (all in one building).  You could only get there by ferry and it only sailed a few times a day.  If you ran out of groceries, you had to live of berries 🙂

We normally went during late spring and most of the summer.  The family Renault 16 (yellow of course) was packed to the brim with supplies and clothes.  In Denmark, you can’t be too sure you get hot weather during the summer, so had to be prepared for anything possible.

While visiting the summer house, we kids spent 98% of the day outside.  Danish parenting is somewhat different, as we (kids) are left to fend for ourselves and learn as we go.  Meals are served during the day, and my parents would open the door, tell us not to come back until dinner time.  We had time to explore, climb, play ball, eat berries and just be kids … without too much adult supervision.  IT WAS AWESOME 🙂

Anyway, during one of these wonderful hot summer days, us kids went on a stroll and ended up by a huge field at the end of a dusty dirt road.  There was a big fence with a gate around the field, but that only means kids are allowed, or it meant something was so big and scary that it had to be locked away.

… but who cares about a gate when we can crawl over it and run in the field.  And so I did!

I was the first one not over, but through the fence, and ran laughing across the field with the sun baking down on me.  I turned around to shout for my sister and friends, only to discover that they were still by the fence/gate.  They had a strange look of fear and I could vaguely hear them shout “RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN” (in Danish of course) and pointing at something.

My eyes followed their frantic pointing and suddenly I saw this beast with horns come galloping towards me.  I let out a loud yelp, turned and legged it towards a giant rock in the middle of the field.  The beast was gaining on me and I could hear it’s heavy breathing and hoofs hitting the ground hard.

ramboramI jumped the last few yards onto the rock – to safety – and turned around to stare right into the angry eyes of a ram.  He was not a happy camper.

Perhaps he thought I was trying to hook up with his lady sheep or just didn’t like intruders.

I shouted to my sister for help, only to be greeted by hysterical laughter and them pointing at me sitting on a rock, pinned down by an angry beast protecting his turf.

After what felt like hours, probably only a few minutes, my sister finally went for help. Another “hour” went by and I heard the wonderful voice of my dad.

My hero, my saviour had arrived.  My dad can beat and scare off any monstrous ram, or other vile creature of the devil.  Or so I thought.  He was muttering some elaborate escape plan with another dad who had come to help, but I wasn’t seeing any progress in getting me off the bloody rock.

Without water for several “hours” my body was getting weaker and I was not sure I would survive this.  In a panic moment, I attempted to crawl down from the rock, only to be greeted by the ram.  He had absolutely no intentions of letting me survive this.

Suddenly I saw the other dad at the other end of the field, shouting for the ram.  It worked and it started to run towards him.  A few seconds later, my dad was next to.  As he reached for me, the ram suddenly turned and starred a us.  No time to waste, my dad yanked me off the rock and started to run with me on his back.

gimliMy dad was not built for running, a bit like Gimli with short legs, but he was going so fast that his legs were a blur to me.  I could see the ram running after us, and gaining valuable ground.

As we finally reached the gate, my dad threw me over it and jumped up to climb over.  The ram hit the gate and then started to eat the grass my sister was feeding the sheep.  So much for a vicious smoke breathing beast!

So, I learned my lesson.  Never jump a gate to a fenced off field.  If you do, be sure to wear runners and large bunch of grass.

My Childhood Stories

7080My kids are very keen on hearing more from when I was a kid.  Stories about their grandparents (farmor and farfar), my childhood adventures and why I’m so silly at times.

What better way than writing these short stories and share them with the World.

I will be releasing these adventures using the ‘childhood’ category and #mychildhood tag.

It will be proof that I survived both the #70s and #80s without electronics and smartphones.  There is a life without these gadgets although it is hard to fathom these days.

The morale of my life stories?

Share your stories with your kids will hopefully make them appreciate what we have today, not be afraid of the great outdoors and (fingers crossed) avoid making the same mistakes I made as a kid.

In the end, it just to share and generate laughs 🙂   YOLO